Ok, this really is more for dumping a girlfriend, but girls - if you’re interested in dumping your man, or just want to know what to watch out for - you can read this too.
First of all, we’re assuming that either a) you fight all the time and just can’t stand her, or b) you just don’t like her or want to be banging someone else.
Girls: If you’re feeling ignored and he seems distant, there’s a 99% chance he’s either cheating, or wants to cheat.
Now, if you’re fighting all the time, in order to actually pull of a successful dumping… wait a min, we should clarify what a successful dump includes:
A Successful Break-up
No breakup is going to go 100% smooth. There’s a good chance there will be yelling and crying, but the goal here is to make it as painless as possible for both of you. We don’t want to disrespect the dumpee, but our main focus should be OUR feelings - and bodily protection.
We’re going to strive (in a perfect world) for: no crying, no hurt feelings, possible friendship (ha), and no scratches, broken bones, or concussions.
Ok, back to the girl you’re fighting with all the time…
You must be very, very careful dumping a girl you think might be crazy. If you feel like she’s irrational all the time - yelling, arguing for no reason, picking fights - it may be a good idea to break it off via email, phone, or even text message. Some people say this depends on how long someone has been together - but I disagree. Protecting yourself physically, and not getting yourself into trouble (physically protecting yourself and then having the cops called on you) cannot be underestimated in my opinion.
If you’re going to go ahead with dumping your girlfriend, how do you know what to say? Well, for the fiesty girl, the best bet is to do one of two things - blame yourself, or someone else. There MUST be a reason - just a “I just don’t want to be with you” isn’t going to cut it in any situation, much less with a girl who’s about to go bananas.
Blaming yourself. This can be as simple as saying how you’ve become unhappy due to _____ (anything but her) and that you need to take time for yourself. I suggest ALWAYS leaving the door open to getting back together… this is called the “stepped” break up, and I’ll touch more on that in a minute.
Blaming others. Blame your friends, your family, your boss… anyone but her and her friends or family. Again, taking time to take care of things and get your life in order is the main goal here.
Blaming another woman. This may seem stupid, but it’s a fact that you’d rather have her hate you than kick you in the balls. If you think that you’re girlfriend would respond with simple hatred if she found out you’re seeing someone else… I would vote that you use that excuse - whether you’re actually seeing someone else or not.
Be Prepared!
You need to make sure you’re prepared to cut off all communication for a while. Ideally, you’d change all your numbers and email addresses and then move out of the country. But this isn’t really possible. You’ll need to make sure you can be strong enough to send her calls to voicemail, delete her emails, and ignore her text messages. Because they WILL come. The best bet for you right now is to plan for the worst and be ready to completely cut her off.
The Stepped Break-Up
The stepped break-up is ideal for the majority of girls. It can be painful long-term due to the fact that we’re technically going to be leading them on for a while. But for US, there really isn’t a more ideal and low-conflict method of dumping a girl.
Start with a hint. You’re getting unhappy in the realtionship… you’re not sure if it’s what you want. She’ll hopefully try to ask what she can do to help.
A week or so goes by and now you’ve really decided that you need some time to yourself… a week or two with a friend or family will be good for you to get a perspective on your life.
After that time - you can just let her know that you want to stay alone for a while and you’re not sure how long. This is now the time when you can “legally” start dating others. She’ll be upset when she finds out, but she can’t really blame you.
Dumping a Sane Girl
This is sometimes the hardest of all. Girls that are normal, or close to it, tend to have reactions of a break-up that can make it hard to actually go all the way through with it. If they’re codependant, for instance, you’ll find that they do a 180 in personality and make your life wonderful all of a sudden. This can cause you to change your mind and take her back, only to start the whole cycle over again. Once she finds that she’s got you back where she wants you - it’s all back downhill.
I realize that it may be targeted at weaker men, but lets admit it - most of us will have a situation like this at some point. Just remember to stand your ground.
The Rebound
Dumping your girlfriend can leave you really broken up yourself. Whether it’s missing her, or just feeling bad that you hurt someone… it can take it’s toll.
Remember to focus on friends and family to support you through any hard time you may be having. And let’s be honest… there’s no better way to move on with your life than to go out and find a rebound chick.
To The Girls: Chances of you being a rebound chick once or twice is very good if you don’t watch for the right signs. If you’re getting picked up at a bar or club - the chances are that you’re either a rebound or a one-nighter.
Hit the bar, club, or your favorite spot where the women come in groups. Remember that the goal here is not to get the best looking girl, it’s to get the best company for the night.
Girls, of course, typically come in a flock… and you can bet that 9 times out of 10 that at least one of the group feels “below” her friends. You can typically spot this from accross the room by spotting the one who talks less, who looks down, or is constantly making sure her clothes are covering the right spots.
I suggest making eye contact from afar first… you’ll know if there’s any type of connection there. If you feel there’s an opening, you can hardly go wrong just walking over and asking her right in front of her friends if you can have a moment alone with her. Mention how you couldn’t help but notice her eyes, hair, or whatever you think SHE feels self consious about. Then just start a normal conversation… I’d try to avoid buying her drinks (if anything, let her know it would be ok for her to buy YOU a drink). Just talk like you would anyone else you’re trying to get to know. Make her feel special.
She may end up getting hurt after your night together, but sadly, it’s her issue to deal with. There’s no need to be totally rude - you can call her again if you actually like her… but I’m betting you’re going to be sick of her after 12 hours.
That’s it. Dump your girlfriend (or boyfriend) and move on. It may just be one of the best things you can do for yourself… and her ya dirty dogg, you.